You know what's almost as awesome as me?
Strip clubs.
They truly do represent everything I love; overpriced beverages, a sense of indecency and naked, sometimes attractive women with a seemingly legitimate yet completely feigned sense of wanting in their eyes. Perfect. Yet their is a fairly apparent hierarchy in place as to which girls "work" which days. This is the single flaw with strip clubs, well, that and the managers. Not to say that I don't agree with ranking girls according to their physical attributes, I do, but I tend to have places to be on the nights in which the alpha-strippers (let's call them the "A-team") present themselves. Saturday nights call for my rather popular face to attend various clubs which unfortunately do not have the word "strip" in front of them. Tuesday nights and Sunday nights have NOTHING to keep me enthralled. Yet this is when the "B-team" comes out to force me into paying for what is, yes, a pleasurable dance but one with which I am left with a vague sense of shame rising from the strippers perfume upon my groin.
I realise anyone who visits strip clubs should leave with a sense of shame regardless, but hey, I'm awesome.
Love
Ash
xx
Sunday, 10 October 2010
Monday, 4 October 2010
4am
There are very few things to do at 4am:
Rock out to a late closing club
Spend quality time with your bros
Someone
Now when the clubs are closed (who invented this purgatorial nothingness that is sunday night?), the bros are in bed (hopefully due to sex, alcohol or them being, essentially, just lazy) and you are severely lacking in the person lying underneath you department, I figured there was only one thing left to do...
Write the best damn blog there ever was, is and ever will be as long as we all shall be bothered to read/write it.
I understand that possibly a sesquicentury ago, man was forced to abandon particular activities at night due to the restrictions imposed upon vision by the darkness that, in those less-industrial or rather less-technologically advanced days, could not be combatted at a level which would have permitted said activities. Lunar glow is simply not an effective tanning device I find. However, nowadays, we can raise two indignant fingers to the stars and say thanks for the absolute terajoules of energy you cast our way but next time shimmy up a bit closer so we can actually utilize it. Electricity has afforded us such a pleasure and I for one am indebted to Mr Edison, Tesla, Volta and the hundreds of other rather tedious sounding scientists who allowed me to write this absolute jibberish to you my (hopefully) fervent readers.
At the risk of this blog sounding like it was devised to praise our electrically minded forefathers, I am going to veer away from that subject to talk about what it is that I am lacking which has driven me to exude such absurdity. Firstly, the lack of venues possessing any kind of excitement , as I say, is down to my most repetitive of enemies; sundays. The lack of what can without doubt be deemed "bros" is down to laziness. Theirs not mine. OK, partly mine. But the lack of a someone to do rather than a something is definately not through choice. Well it is, but not through mine. Everyone's got to have an off day right? Besides, without them I wouldn't be able to start such an amazing blog now would I.
Thank you for your hopefully rabid attention wenches.
Love,
Ash.
xx
Rock out to a late closing club
Spend quality time with your bros
Someone
Now when the clubs are closed (who invented this purgatorial nothingness that is sunday night?), the bros are in bed (hopefully due to sex, alcohol or them being, essentially, just lazy) and you are severely lacking in the person lying underneath you department, I figured there was only one thing left to do...
Write the best damn blog there ever was, is and ever will be as long as we all shall be bothered to read/write it.
I understand that possibly a sesquicentury ago, man was forced to abandon particular activities at night due to the restrictions imposed upon vision by the darkness that, in those less-industrial or rather less-technologically advanced days, could not be combatted at a level which would have permitted said activities. Lunar glow is simply not an effective tanning device I find. However, nowadays, we can raise two indignant fingers to the stars and say thanks for the absolute terajoules of energy you cast our way but next time shimmy up a bit closer so we can actually utilize it. Electricity has afforded us such a pleasure and I for one am indebted to Mr Edison, Tesla, Volta and the hundreds of other rather tedious sounding scientists who allowed me to write this absolute jibberish to you my (hopefully) fervent readers.
At the risk of this blog sounding like it was devised to praise our electrically minded forefathers, I am going to veer away from that subject to talk about what it is that I am lacking which has driven me to exude such absurdity. Firstly, the lack of venues possessing any kind of excitement , as I say, is down to my most repetitive of enemies; sundays. The lack of what can without doubt be deemed "bros" is down to laziness. Theirs not mine. OK, partly mine. But the lack of a someone to do rather than a something is definately not through choice. Well it is, but not through mine. Everyone's got to have an off day right? Besides, without them I wouldn't be able to start such an amazing blog now would I.
Thank you for your hopefully rabid attention wenches.
Love,
Ash.
xx
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