British Meal Time and The End of Year Ball Queue

Evening all,

So again I am a day late and again it is with reason. Yesterday was spent on a 21 hour drinking bender in which I queued for a ticket I already have purely for a reason to drink for 21 hours. Now, some of you may be thinking "alcoholic", "waster", "legend" and yes I am all three, however, the end of year ball queue is an event so legendary that I was actually interviewed for a radio show whilst in it. That's a fabrication, it was a university radio show, but still, even a small victory is a victory and even a little bit more fame can't hurt especially as I stuck to my usual motif and was completely out of my tree whilst doing said interview. This queue is the drunkest night of my year, more so than the ball itself and for that I owe it the past days worth of sleep and the bruise on my hip from sleeping on its cold, hard floor.

And now!! The greatest idea I have EVER had!! (and that's saying something). British Meal Time!! For those of you not having the faintest idea what I am jabbering on about, go to youtube, search for Epicmealtime and be AMAZED. Now imagine BritishMealTime and blow your mind out of your bellybuttons.

Expect greatness!!
Ash
xx

Home Time

Greetings biatches,

I am currently writing from a new undisclosed location - my house!! My home house I mean. Erm, yeah. Anyways, this house provides me with free food, drink and washing. Perfect laziness boost and given that I have decided to give up high caffeine drinks due to me having rather worrying heart (or whatever I have where my heart should be) issues, this seems fitting. As of tomorrow I will have travelled the length and breadth of the country and without Relentless to sustain me, I am spent. Giving up is hard.

Much love,
Ash
xx

Valentine's Day

Believe it or not Ash Lovers but I did intentionally miss yesterday's promised blog date by one day solely to post on this most wondrous of days, Valentine's Day.

Now you may think I would hate Valentine's Day, the celebration of monogamy and disapproval towards those who choose not to partake in such an archaic tradition. But the truth it, I love that disapproval. It causes the more insecure ladies of our fine country (the sluts) to crave approval and a partner in between their sheets for what I have renamed with a more fitting title - Valentine's Night; the true meaning of February 14th. I shall be venturing out into the debauched clubland of Sunny Hullywood in order to fulfil this annual destiny of mine so wish me luck fuckers.

With exponentially more love than usual,
Ash
xx

SUPERBOWL SUNDAY

Hellz yeah Blog-lovers!!

Tis the greatest day of the year (besides the commemorative occasion of the day on which I was born) SUPERBOWL SUNDAY!! I have taken this occasion to follow my culinary idols the Epic Meal Time Guys (youtube gods) and make various food items involving steak, cheese and bacon. Lots of bacon.

Wish my heart and my team (Steelers as those bastards the Packers knocked the lovely Buccaneers out) good luck.
Ash
xx

Pro Bowl!!

DARY.

Apologies dear readers, I failed. This is the first failed blog entry I'm sure of many and it is the first collaborative blog entry, say Hi to Rory :) We're currently watching the pro bowl and he's yelling at me so here's to a short blog.

Much Love, I'll be on time next week
Ash
xx

Thank God that's over

Dear blog-following-Ash-lovers,

My examination damnation has come to its rather amazing conclusion!! It went as well as an all girl threesome you "accidentally" caught on film. The follow up to said exam went even more swimmingly. £70 swimming down the drain-ingly. Bar, pub, casino, strip club, club.

COULD ANYTHING ELSE BE ADDED TO THAT LIST!?
Oh yeah, zoo.
Damn, should have gone to the zoo.

Anyways, it was legend... wait for it...

I knew this day would come

So fans,

The dreaded day has come where I am starting to contemplate cutting my beautiful hair. With all of the events that have transpired throughout the last year, I feel infinitely more mature, ok maybe not mature, more adult than ever before. This has led me to the idea of making my image slightly more, the correct word eludes me so let's say, professional. Maybe.

I know its a very overplayed idea, but I genuinely intend, and have intended for some time, to bring a fresh start in with the new year. A change of image, one including a haircut, plays a big part of this. I am slowly phasing into a more usual, yet still unique style of dress and image in general. Though my debauched behaviour is one aspect I refuse to change. Hopefully my new, yet still immeasurably sexy, image will even help increase the frequency of the already numerous disgraceful acts of mine.

Much love,
Ash
xx